"The Wall"

Have you every seen "The Wall"? It's in Washington, D.C.

My deputy husband was killed May 1983; I joined C.O.P.S. (Concerns Of Police Survivors) in January 1986; went to D.C. to a C.O.P.S. get-together with a bunch of other law enforcement widows, for a week, in May 1986 {the get-together had classes on how to cope with our loss}; on one of those days, we ladies took a little walk to see "The Wall"; and.....I couldn't.

I froze when I saw the dark wall.

I could not read any of the names but I could see lighter areas on "The Wall" that represented letters of the alphabet. I'm sure there were numbers on it, too.

All I did was cry. Not only did I cry......I was sobbing. And deeply. I couldn't stop.

I went back to my motel room and stayed there until we left for home. I didn't even get to attend any of the seminars that they said would teach me how to cope. It didn't even seem so important after I saw "The Wall".

It's also "National Peace Officer's Memorial Week". I fly a blue ribbon for C.O.P.S. My heart is sad and full - - all at once.