Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Most Effective Form of Birth Control....

.....the Bed Snake Bat!!

Quote by B.S. Laboratories: After years of careful research, the scientists at B.S. Laboratories have discovered that pregnancy is caused by the venom of a small snake called "THE BED SNAKE." And now, after many long hours of painstaking research, we have produced what we feel is the most effective means of combating this little creature.......the amazing tool is called a BED SNAKE BAT!

EVERY woman MUST have this!

Information about the Snake:
The Bed Snake is found in all parts of the world ~~ not only in beds, but it can pop up at anytime, and anyplace, including back seats of cars, bathrooms, back alleys and dark grassy fields.

Directions for when you have spotted the Snake:
~Many women fear snakes, but you must remain calm and not alert the snake.
~Firmly grasp bat, then conceal it behind your back.
~Slowly approach the snake. When it is within striking distance, swing bat furiously, hitting the snake several times, then twice more for good measure.
~Cautiously search for eggs near the snake (usually come in pairs). If found, bash them both three times. By this time the snake should be unconscious. Take careful aim, bash it once more and run as far away as you can.

Letter from one satisfied customer:
The other day I really gave my Bed Snake Bat a good work-out. I happened to take a wrong turn into a men's locker room and I have never seen such a convention of Bed Snakes. I'm sure the snakes must have thought they were well hidden but by the time I got through, there were Bed Snakes lying unconscious, dead or dying all over the place.
The girls and I have decided to plan regular surprise attacks on these new found snake dens!


Pen to the Paper said...

This is so funny!! I cracked up the entire time.

inukshuk71 said...

Thanks for the giggles, this was hilarious!

CraftyGryphon said...

Hee! Okay, that was hysterically funny!

Toni said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! And when I saw the title, I thought it was going to be a story about going to a grocery store on a Saturday--which I consider one of the best BC methods ever....:)